Squall's Angels
by Dkmagby88
Summary: FF8 version of Charlie's Angels. Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa go undercover to solve the mysterious disappearance of Cid Kramer. it's my first humor story...so bear with me. r&r please


DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN FF8, BUT I WILL SOMEDAY

Chapter One

Once upon a time there were three little girls that went to the garden academy. And each were assigned, very hazardous duties. But I took them away from all that, and my name is Squall.  
It's a normal day at the agency and the three angels all sit around and converse in simple matters. They laugh and drink their coffee as they wait for the voice. Yes, the voice that is their boss.  
A young, hot-headed blonde walks into the room with a confident look on his face (which isn't an out-of-the-ordinary thing).  
"Good morning girls!" He slaps a giant grin on his face.  
"Good morning, Zell!" They all yell in unison.  
"I'm glad your all here. Now we just have to wait for Squall to call." He sits down at his desk and crosses his legs.  
The phone suddenly rings and everyone in the room is filled with suspense. Zell taps the speaker phone on his desk so the mysterious voice can be heard.  
"Good morning angels." The dark voice says to the trio of girls.  
"Good morning Squall!" They, again, say in unison.  
"Your assignment today is this man." A picture is projected onto the wall as the three girls look up at it.  
The room goes dark as the face of the man becomes visible. He is an older man, with dark brown hair and glasses.  
"This is Cid Kramer, headmaster of Balamb Garden."  
"I remember him. He became headmaster the year after I graduated." Quistis, a very intelligent blonde woman said.  
"You are right, Quistis." Squall said.  
Mumbles come from behind her from a girlish voice from a spunky girl, "lousy know-it-all."  
"I heard that you know!" Quistis screamed at her.  
"Yeah...you just hear everything don't you." Selphie replied.  
"Don't make me, hoe!" Quistis jumped up from her seat.  
"Bring it on, granny!" Selphie also leapt from her chair.  
"GRANNY!!!!! I'M ONLY ONE YEAR OLDER THAN YOU!!!!" Quistis draws her whip and lashes it at Selphie. She ducks and the blow is accidentally given to Zell.  
"OWWWW!!!!! QUISTIS! Geez! You just can't take a stupid comment!" Zell rubs his nose where he was hit.  
"Who called me stupid!?" Quistis jumps in a blind fury again ready to cast a massive spell.  
Selphie leaps from behind her and bitch-slaps her and knocks her on the floor.  
"Ok, ok, ok...I give." Quistis sits back in her chair and counts her losses.  
"Getting on with the mission." Squall continued after the fighting had ceased.  
"What is it Squally-wally-bally-tally-mally-pooooooo." A black haired girl says in a sweet voice.  
"Rinoa...get over yourself." Selphie says as she slaps Rinoa as well.  
Selphie also walks over to Zell and slaps him.  
  
"Why'd you do that!? I didn't even say nothin'" Zell rubs his cheeks.  
"Just so I don't have to get up again." Selphie plopped herself down in her chair and gave a sigh.  
Squall continued. "Yeah...anyways, Cid disappeared from the garden after he had left for his vacation in FH, or Fisherman's Horizon. Locals saw him conversing with this man." A picture of a man with a pony tail dressed up as a cowboy appeared on the wall in place of Cid.  
"Who's that!? He's cute!" Selphie commented.  
"That's Irvine Kenneas, drop out from Galbadia Garden and also an entertainer at FH." Squall answered.  
"I call him!" Selphie jumped up and screamed.  
"Let's continue shall we...also...Cid owed some money to this man...Seifer Almansy." The picture of a stubborn blonde with a white trench coat came onto the wall.  
"He is a retired mercenary and an owner of a boat dealership."  
"Can anyone say, 'rich!!!'" Quistis screamed.  
"Yes...yes...but anyways...Ellone Watson...the daughter of the president of Esthar has had some run ins with Seifer and is hiring us to investigate and protect her."  
"Why protect her, Squall?" Selphie asked.  
"Because...she is doing a photo shoot at FH and can't miss it. She also fears that she will meet the unfortunate fate of Cid." Squall replied.  
"So what are our assignments...Squally-wally-bally-tally-."  
"ENOUGH WITH THAT ALREADY!!!" Zell yelled at Rinoa.  
"Let me see...Selphie will be a singer in the show that Irvine is in." Squall said.  
"Do I get to wear skimpy outfits?" Selphie began to grin.  
"Yes...yes...you can wear all the skimpy outfits you want." Squall replied.  
"YES! Oh yeah...I'm gonna look so sexy!" Selphie began to jump in joy.  
"Rinoa will be a model with Ellone Watson to keep an eye on her. She already knows you'll be working with her."  
"A model...again...THAT'S GREAT SQUALL!!!! Whatever you want me to do. I'll do anything for you. (constant love chants about something) Even if you want me on your lap right now I'll do it. Just give me you address. I MUST KNOW I MUST KNOW!!!!! GIVE IT TO MEEEEE!" Rinoa jumps onto the speaker phone before Zell has to pry her off of the his desk...again.  
Zell throws her onto the floor, and she sits back down in her chair in a lady- like manner.  
"Ok...and Quistis will be doing the ugly person job like always. She will be Seifer's secretary."  
"Squall! How come I don't get to be the model or skimpy dancer?" Quistis begins to complain.  
Selphie decides to answer this question. "Because you're the ugly old broad who'd people would pay to put more clothes on you."  
"THAT'S IT!" The two begin to quarrel again as random beeping noises censor their words.  
"So that just leaves this." Squall continues.  
  
"My job...right?" Zell stands up.  
"Sorry Zell. But I hate men and especially above all...you. So you can't go...ever." Squall answers him.  
"BUT SQUALL! I WANNA GO! I NEVER GO! JUST THIS ONCE.PLEASE!!!!!!" Zell begins to cry while he begs.  
"Fine...you can go. You get to be Rinoa's butler...I guess." Squall finally gives in.  
"OH YEAH!" Zell begins to jump an punches the air.  
"So...good luck angels." Squall finishes as he hangs up. 


End file.
